Secret Weapons [Shhhhh, don't tell NASA]

Dearest Reader,

I am about to share with you a tip I once got from a dermatologist that revolutionized my life.  I don't throw the word "revolutionized" willy-nilly either.  This advice has saved me HUNDREDS of dollars in my quest for a clean face.

About 6 years ago [right around the time I was studying for the bar exam], my dermatologist gave me the following recipe for washing my face:



1. Wet your face.
2. Put 2 pumps of original clear Softsoap in your hands and lather.
3.  Use the Softsoap to clean your face.
4.  Continue to use your hands to scrub while you sing "Happy Birthday" to yourself twice.
5.  Rinse.



[the music swells and angels sing]



I have to say that my dermatologist was GENIUS!  The Softsoap is super cheap and very mild on my skin.  Making sure to use it for the entire song of Happy Birthday TWICE really makes sure that my skin is clean.  So, no more expensive face washes for this girl!  It is very important that you use the colorless, clear version.  You can even get the generic version (that's what I use to save even more money).

Happy face washing!

Cheers!  Jaime

RISK, anyone?

I've always wanted to have a risk tournament. What is Risk, you ask? I honestly have no idea. I've just heard of full out wrestling matches incited by some land takeover in a friendly game of risk. I think this is the perfect way to offset the love and ridiculous holidays February has to offer.

To give a bit of background, I have always been mildly obsessed with minor holidays. It was my dream and obsession for the greater part of my youth to travel to Punxatawney, PA to see the prognosticator or prognosticators predict the end of winter. It may be no surprise that my awesome husband made that dream come true. As proof:

You may also not be surprised to learn that every valentine's day I pass out valentines to everyone in my office. Last year was awesome robot valentines I bought off etsy. This year, in the spirit of Kansas' 151st birthday, I went with the Wizard of Oz.

I also bake cookies for Kansas day (January 29th for those following), and I even have a cookie cutter in the shape of our great state, conservatives and all.





I have a fantastic Ides of March party/dinner every--you guessed it--Ides of March (March 15), and I serve up a fantastic meal of corned beef and cabbage for whoever will have it in the spirit of celebrating st. patty's early.




My roommate and I used to have an annual Bikini Martini party, and at one point had the best Cocktail Party ever--tails, tales and you know what were entirely welcome. I believe this will mark the second year of our Fool Proof April Fool's Day Party. However, to date, I have not found a way to celebrate leap year. I'm a big fan of numbers and timing and it occurs to me that February 29th, in all of its limited glory, should be celebrated.




So here is my suggestion: Risk is an apparently appalling, terrorizing, and awful game to play. It can take all night. Weeks. And I hear it is entirely responsible for breaking up the former soviet union, and god knows how many marriages. For that reason, as well as others that I will share with you all sometime, my husband will not be playing with me. HOWEVER! I propose a full on, leap-tastic risk tournament to take place on leap day. If it only happens once every 4 years, what's the fear that we'll even remember the hatred we brewed for the occasion? We'll leap over it every year, and then duel it out every leap year. Perhaps all wars should be fought this way.

So there you have it. Please view this as an official invitation to my risk tournament. Once I find out what it is.

Exit, pursued by a bear, Christy.

Felix and Oscar (Episode 1: Felix has some Knotty Little Secrets, too!!!)

We have all read about how I am possibly a hoarder (it's a disease, people!), thanks to Jennifer.  Jennifer is one of the most OCD organized people I know.  Her house is clean, her deadlines are met, and she never starts one project without finishing the next.  And that is why we all love her here at The Knotty Krafters!

Fellow Knotty Krafters Jennifer, Christy, and I  were all invited to a Superbowl Party on Sunday.  Part of the invite was to bring a snack to share and we would all stay afterwards to watch Chris Mann on The Voice.  I made my newly discovered Crack Dip (see previous post).  Christy made a delicious cherry concoction (I'm sure if you asked her nicely she would share the recipe with you).  Our hostess made a fabulous taco soup and pork tenderloin sandwiches.   If you notice, dear reader, the operative word in each of these sentences is made.  There was quite a spread!

Here is what Jennifer brought:

Here is Jennifer "making" her dish:

Here is Jennifer showing off her jugs tubs of frozen custard.  (Isn't she pretty?)

So, my friends, I just wanted to let you in on Jennifer's Knotty Little Secret.  She doesn't actually make things for parties.  She buys Freddy's Frozen Custard.  It's shameful really, but I thought you should know the truth.

Cheers-- Jaime

Knotty Little Secrets...

This is my friend and fellow Knotty Krafter, Jaime, last Saturday at 9:30 a.m.

(Please note that Jaime had limited sleep on Friday night and no opportunity for makeup or to do her hair and she is STILL adorable).

One thing that I love about Jaime is her ability to embrace her...  um... quirks.  One of Jaime's quirks is her whorish hoarderish tendencies.  Now, folks, Jaime is not a full-fledged hoarder - NOT AT ALL.  But, the girl can accumulate some stuff.

In all fairness to Jaime, I will set the stage from the beginning...  It all started with me buying a small dresser at an estate sale.  I asked Jaime on Friday night if she would help me pick it up on Saturday morning.  True to form, Jaime readily agreed and I told her that I would be by at 9:30 a.m. so that we could pick it up.

When I arrived at Jaime's house, she was under the impression that we were going to take my car.  "No silly, we are picking up a dresser and thus need your Jeep."  Jaime, being the good sport that she is, said "No problem, but my car is a little bit messy."  Key words - "A little bit messy."  No big deal at all - whose car isn't a little messy since we all practically live in the things?

We arrive at the estate sale to pick up the dresser and Jaime scores a jar of vintage buttons that were priced at $85.00 but she only paid $15.00 (which, of course, will be used for future Knotty Krafters projects).  If you know sweet Jaime, you would not think that she could drive such a hard bargain.  Not true!  For our Jaime, getting a good deal is like clubbing a baby seal.

(No animals would EVER be hurt by any of us --- we are all animal lovers and would not tolerate the clubbing of any animal.)

After Jaime and I haul the dresser out to her Jeep, Jaime opens the back hatch so we can place the dresser inside.  HOLY CRAP IN A CANOE JAIME!  There was trash, debris, and stuff EVERYWHERE in her Jeep.  Jaime takes my astonishment, amazement and (let's face it folks) mockery in good stride by saying "Ya, um, I know."  At one point, I am running into the yard of the house of the estate sale retrieving papers that have flown out of the vehicle.

As we are trying to load the dresser in the back of Jaime's Jeep, it is important to note that the back hatch of Jaime's Jeep doesn't stay up in cold weather on it's own so poor Jaime is trying to hold it up with her head while we try to lift the dresser inside.  And, although Jaime has attempted to move most of the debris to the seat behind the driver's side seat, we were still trying to place the dresser on the carcasses of who knows what.  Luckily, two kind gentleman came to our rescue.  One held the back hatch up and the other helped us lift the dresser in.  After we placed the dresser into the Jeep (mind you, it is laying on mounds of TRASH/STUFF), one of the gentleman says "you really need to clean that."  I then respond "I know but, just so you know, it isn't my car."  He then says "No, I meant the bottom of the dresser."  I simply said "Are ya kidding me?  Do you not see the crap in this car?"  What I wanted to say was "Hey Ray Charles, do you not see the level of freakin' debris right in front of you!!!"  He didn't even miss a beat and says to Jaime "I would have hauled this for you in the back of my truck for just a cocktail."  Here Jaime is with her dirty little secret literally falling out of her car for all to see and this guy is hitting on her.  Go figure...

Here are some pictures of Jaime's Jeep with the dresser inside -

The back driver's side seat:

The back hatch beside the dresser:

The view from the front into the back seat:

 Jaime presenting her knotty little secret (what a good sport!):

Of course, my OCD tendencies kick in and never one to miss an opportunity to help someone purge and organize, I tell Jaime that we are cleaning this car out the instant we drop off the dresser.  Jaime readily agreed.  So, when we got to my house, we developed a plan - starring a recycling bin, the trash bin, and a place to put the items that she was keeping - and we went to work.

 Here is a list of some of the items that we found in Jaime's car:

1.)  Countless newspapers (and I mean countless because I had to stop counting);
2.)  Numerous half-empty water bottles;
3.)  Empty diet coke and soda cans;
4.)  An emergency rain poncho (who doesn't need one of those?);
5.)  1/4 of a bottle of vodka;
6.)  a manicure kit;
7.)  Jaime's dog, Buddy, that has been missing since 1997...

now fossilized...

8.)  Tights, socks, a suit jacket, etc.;
9.)  1 cheetah shoe (Jaime:  "I wondered where that went.");
10.)  The lost continent of Mu and her people (look it up people);
11.)  A fancy winter hat;
12.)  QT cups;
13.)  Dog food;
14.)  Canning jars (2 packages) and countless other items.

Here is Jaime with some of our favorite finds:

After purging many, many items (read trash can and recycling bin practically full) and washing and vacuuming her vehicle, Jaime and I headed to Big Lots to buy her a crate to keep her essential vehicle items in.  Yes, the rain poncho stayed but the bottle of vodka went inside as well as her random items of clothing.

Here is Jaime with her newly cleaned vehicle.  And, no, there is nothing in her front or back seats.  Who knew one little $3.00 crate could make someone so happy?

All in all, a productive Saturday for 2 of the Knotty Krafters.  And now my first blog post is done and done.  A BIG thank you to Jaime for letting me reveal her knotty little secret.  God knows we all have them, what's yours?

And, Jaime, you are not allowed to reveal my secrets and where is that bottle of vodka?  We'll need it to get through burying Buddy...

Vodka

Fossilized Buddy

+

=  GOOD TIMES!

- Jennifer

Christy Rocks!

Christy showed us this the other day. It is fabulous!  Seriously, you could spend all day just clicking the button.  http://random-tutorial.com

Happy Belated Turkey Day!!

Perhaps it is because of the long weekend of shopping and overindulgence, but I have a strong desire to listen to Queen sing christmas songs all day and quit my job.

I love my job, wouldn't trade it for any other.  But today, like many others, I would much rather sit around drinking tea, dancing in my kitchen, and sewing all day.  But moving on.  This is supposed to be a summary post; a bridging post; a post to fill you all in on what in the hell we've been doing since any of us posted last; GET. IT. TOGETHER. So this fall has mostly been a craft crash of everyone getting presents ready for christmas.  Jaime I'm sure will give you a full summary once all her gifts have been disbursed and everyone is incredibly happy with their new savvy homemade gift.  She's making everyone's present so I'm sure she's going crazy.  I should probably check on her, make sure she hasn't succumbed.  In the interest of not ruining anyone's christmas glee, I will be vague and only go over the public projects. First we took a christmas stocking class. Through this we learned to do colorwork which I think everyone will agree makes general knitting seem SO MUCH EASIER. The green things are supposed to be dog bones, but clearly it looks more like barbed wire. So we'll run with that.       One of our Harry Potter book club members--yes, we have a book club (we have finished HP and are now on to game of thrones)--one of our members is expecting, so we threw a HP themed baby shower with themed foods, drinks, games, and gifts.  Was the best baby shower I've ever been to. Here's a picture of the diaper cake we created which includes a baby hat, scarf, and shirt, and a scarf for mom. Most recently I visited Chicago, and while it has NOTHING to do with anything here, I'm still using it as an excuse for the severe lack of posting, so here--have a picture! Last but not least, I forced my sig fig to attend the Elk Falls Outhouse Tour. Yes, I couldn't possibly make this up.  (For proof, see http://elkfallsouthousetour.com) There were outhouses placed all over Elk Falls, along with food stops, crafts, and even a quilt show.  For a dollar you got a button, a map, and a ballot.  Absolutely amazing.  I think it may actually become an annual trip for me and it may become a supper club outing as well.  It is the weekend before Thanksgiving every year, and the weather could not have been better this year.  To prove I'm not lying, here's a picture of the winning outhouse. More posts to come on the status of our christmas projects and pictures of the decor as well.  Until then, THERE ARE ONLY 27 DAYS TO CHRISTMAS-GET OFF YOUR ASS!

--Christy

It's Hotter than the Nevada Desert

Today, while working very hard in our building that decided to replace the air conditioner in the hottest part of the day, I baked cookies in my car. Boss said they were maybe even a tad overcooked! Three hours put to excellent use!

--Christy

Home

I suppose after college we all have the same trouble adapting from our former transient habits to stability.  After moving from dorm to dorm, apartment to apartment, rental house to high rise, town to city, roommate to roommate, it is quite frankly amazing that we all don't immediately go into therapy to discuss our loss of sanity and the quandary of where my favorite pair of shoes ran off to.  Perhaps we all relish the idea of finally standing still.  (I do not think that anyone who has ever moved in with a significant other has not had the urge to run the eff away at some point , but I digress.  That is a topic for another post.)

I went to KC this weekend to shop with the momster.  Not that Wichita doesn't offer some fine shopping outlets,...it just isn't quite the same. Perhaps it is because the momster doesn't live in Wichita, but who am I to speculate.   There's just something about being on home base, with family, recognizing every turn lane and road and knowing that you can get away with going 45 on Ward Parkway, albeit on certain stretches.

As I was driving through the Plaza (and forfeiting any hope of ever locating a parking spot within 3 miles of LatteLand and wedding cake cookies), I realized how small and un-diverse Wichita is.  I miss the gays. I miss the random hippies walking through town.  I miss the overland park anti-support tax visitors mingling with the misfits.  I miss the nonconformity.  I suppose the bigger question is why random outside window shoppers equate diversity to my simple mind.  I suppose I just miss the traffic.  I miss the pulse. I miss watching the foot traffic from inside westport coffeehouse.  Bubble tea that is accepted and easily accessible.  Random shops with outstanding objects of creativity.  Ridiculous sculptures that look mysteriously like shuttlecocks.  And every once in a while, I miss having fifteen nightly events, happenings or random acts of art and entertainment to choose from for my personal nightly entertainment.  Perhaps I've never quite accepted stability.  My therapist said I never would :grin:

--Christy

How many lawyers does it take to change a tire??

Ladies,

 I gave much thought to what my first blog post should be about. Gardening? My tomato plants are still toddlers. Quilting? I just finished my first quilt (pictures and instructions to follow in a future post), but that's no way to make a splash. Knitting? Christy and I just had our first lesson this week, but I don't even know how to cast on and bind off yet. Then it happened...

 So, I was driving home from work one hot June day, excited about my first ever knitting class that evening. I was driving a family friend's car, as I had just taken her to the airport. It is a golden Toyota Avalon, herein referred to as The Golden Beast. The Golden Beast and I were driving down the street with a large grouping of other commuters when I all of a sudden hear a strange popping noise, followed by what very clearly sounded like the rims of the Beast scraping the road way. I quickly turned the Beast into the first available parking lot-- a very seedy asian market, complete with bars on the windows.

 I quickly called a friend (thank you, Becky) to come and pick me up. I ran in and asked the clerk of the market if it was ok if I left the Beast in the parking lot for a few hours while I went to my knitting class and he said yes, but very strongly urged me not to leave the Beast parked there over night. So, Becky took me home and I rode with my neighbor to knitting class.

 I explained to Christy about my latest adventure with the Golden Beast and she very calmly said, "Jaime, we totally got this! You and I will go to your car after class and get that spare put on. My dad made me learn how to put a tire on my car before he would let me drive it." After learning how to knit and purl, Christy and I ventured back to the seedy Asian market parking lot where (thankfully) the Golden Beast still sat. We got right to work on that tire. We positioned the jack, took off the lug nuts, and then went to pull off the tire. And nothing happened. So, we kicked the tire and cursed it a few times.

About then, Christy's husband Scott arrived to give us a hand (i.e. mutter under his breath how crazy we are for not following the directions that are clearly written in the owner's manual). Since none of us could get the tire off, we each phoned a friend and got no where. Christy then came up with a bright idea to take the parking brake off to see if that was keeping the tire on.

 The good news was taking the brake off loosened the tire. The bad news was that the car started to roll, which made it fall off of the jack and potentially be a HUGE problem. (More muttering from Scott about why in the world we didn't have anything behind the wheels.)

 Luckily, no person nor Beast was injured during our critical error. And we got the flat tire off and the spare on and lived happily ever after. But here are my Lessons Learned for Changing a Tire:

 1. Always consult your owner's manual first. It contains very helpful information :)

 2. Loosen all of the lug nuts on your flat tire BEFORE you use the jack to raise the car. This will ensure that your car is stable while you loosen the potentially very tight bolts.

 3. ALWAYS put a rock or a brick behind your tires to keep your car from rolling while it is raised on the jack.

 4. Don't tighten the lug nuts until after you lower the car back down again.

 5. Don't be afraid to get in there and try something new! Mechanical projects, car repair, and home repair have always mystified me. But, when I pick up some directions and give it a college try, I surprise myself :) 

6. If you have your parking brake on while your car is lifted on a jack, DON'T take off the brake unless the vehicle is secured.

 Truly, Jaime PS: It officially takes three lawyers to change a tire.